(to the tune of “All I want for Christmas is You”)
(if you need a karaoke track, try this one)

I don’t need a lot for freedom,
Peace, or love, democracy, and I
Don’t care about the Congress
or their failed bureaucracy
I just want a li-brar-y
Filled with places just for me
A librarian or two
No not Google search box, just you

I don’t want a lot of features
Search results are too grotesque
I don’t care about the systems
Back behind your reference desk
I don’t need to download e-books
On the de-vice of my choice
Noisy clubs won’t make me happy
In the stacks I will rejoice

I just want a li-brar-y
Until the ’20 Pri-mary
Don’t bid facts adieu
No not Google search box, just you

I won’t ask for more best sellers
placed upon your new bookcase,
I just wanna keep on reading
In the Commons coffee place

I won’t send requests for new books
To your boss at the big desk
I won’t book your meeting rooms
Or call your kids’ space Kafkaesque

‘Cause I just want you here tonight
Teaching me ‘bout copyright
No gum will I chew
Oh, teacher, all I want is wisdom from you

Makerspaces making
And new trends everywhere
And the sound of gamers’
Screaming fills the air

And everyone is reading
I see your staff there weeding
Dewey won’t you please sort
The books I really need
Won’t you please open the library
for me

I still need an education
This is all I’m asking for
I just want an end to fake news
racist trolls and endless war

I just want a li-brar-y
With comfy chair and cup of tea
A librarian or two
No not Google search box, just youuuuu

No not Google search box, just youuuuu

for previous Hectic Pace Christmas parodies, see: